You may be wondering ‘why the picture of a kitten?’ Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed. Ha! Wait. No. That’s wrong isn’t it? Fuck.
Well hello there! How have you been?
You may have noticed that I am blogging again. For 3 glorious (and very important) reasons that I’ll get into shortly.
(This is all assuming, of course, that you’ve been here before. If not, then: Hello new friend! Come over here! There are cookies and…
…wait a sec. I’ve gotten sidetracked already haven’t I? Jesus, Radcliffe, you’re barely 5 sentences in! Keep it together. What was I saying? Ah yes…)
*assumes grand storytelling pose*
‘Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there….’
Wait. WAIT! Stop the music. STOP THE MUSIC.
That’s not it at all. Fuck. This blogging thing is way harder than I remember.
(Side note: PLEASE DON’T SUE ME, MR JEFF WHO IS ALSO JAZZY.)
How about we just start with a story?
Way back in the long-agos of the black and white days, deep in the beginnings of the before times, our hero… (That’s me. Did I need to say that? Well, I did.) …quit his day job and struck out into the world as an independent artist with NOTHING but a ukulele, and a prayer, and a small grey cat.
(And some other stuff if I’m being completely honest. But the prayer, the uke, and the cat are the important bits for this story.)
At first he traveled the world, and he made music, and he wrote things, and he spoke to people. Soon he happened upon a small community of goodly folk who liked the things he made enough to give him sheckels for them. Sheckels which meant: a roof over his head in the rain, food to fill his belly, and time with which he could make more things.
He got better at his craft, and his little community grew, and all seemed well in the kingdom.
But as time rolled on he would sometimes think he heard, deep within the ever-sound of the kingdom, some note of discord. And, over time, he came to understand that this discord was his heart telling him that something needed to change.
Then one day he came a crossroads. And in this coming he finally understood that: to go on he would have to leave everything behind. (But not the cat. Or the Uke. So not exactly everything. Look, the stuff he’d made is what I’m talking about.) This was nothing less than the price that his path demanded.
And so he did. And so it was. And in the January-scape of that year he….
OK. Wait up.
Can I be honest? Talking about myself in the third-person is getting a little weird. Also, I’m not sure where this story is going. I think I’m gonna need to ratchet up the tension soon to keep things interesting. Possibly there should be dragons and who wants to deal with that? (Right George R.R. Martin? I knows you feel me dog.)
How about I just go with first person?
So in January this year I took all my business down from the internet and burned it.
And started working on the new.
Then, one bright and sunny A.M. I looked up and realized that nine months had passed and I had things to say and news to share. So I picked up my fountain pen and began this jabberwocky-frankenstein of a post.
YOU SAID AT THE START OF THE POST THAT YOU WERE WRITING THIS FOR 3 REASONS BUT YOU HAVE NOT TOLD ANY REASONS.
This is actually a good point, weird and mysterious voice.
The 3 reasons that I’m writing this are:
1 – I’m coming to the end of making my First New Thing.
THAT MIND PICTURE IS EXCITING TO MY BRAINPAN WHEN CAN I GET THIS THING THAT IS NEW?
Well, I’m busy doing the final recordings and also deciding where I’m going to have it mixed and mastered. So watch this space. And speaking of that…
2 – I’m going to be blogging again. Regularly.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN REGULARLY?
Why are you shouting? Wednesdays mostly.
AND WHAT WILL YOU BE WRITING ABOUT? WHAT IS YOUR BRAND YOU MUST TELL THEM YOUR BRAND IN ORDER TO GENERATE THE THROUGHCLICKS FOR THE RANKGOOGLE AD-REVENUE DRIVEN LISTICLE FUNNELS. THATS JUST SCIENCE.
Honestly? No idea. But it’ll be good. Side note: I never run ads on my site. Also, did I mention Wednesdays? And please stop shouting.
OK BUT YOU ALSO SAID BECAUSE OF THREE REASONS AND THAT IS TWO REASONS SO WHAT IS THE THIRD REASON WITH ALL OF MY QUIET AND PLEASE?
Still shouting, but I take your point.
The third (and most important) reason is:
3 – I missed our conversations.
My favorite thing about the blog were the discussions that sprang up in the comments section. Through them, I’ve gotten to know a bunch of very cool people and been able to evolve my point of view on a wide range of topics, and I know that others feel the same way (because they’ve written to tell me.)
So I’m looking forward to that again.
That is the end of the list. And also the end of the blog. Ta-daaaaa!
*does jazz hands*
*does jazz hands again*
*waits some more*
How do you finish a blog post again?
*vanishes in a puff of smoke*
THAT WAS GOOD I ENJOYED MOST OF THE WORDS AND ALSO THE KITTEN
Still shouting tho.
OK! That’s it for real! That was the first one! Did I blog well?
If have any thoughts (or would just like to say ‘Hi’) the comments box is just below. I read and reply to pretty much all of them.
Final Important Things:
Hey there, Human Person reading this! Would you like to be the first to: see / hear / read the things that I make and get dibs on any limited edition collectable items that may or may not be coming really soon? Well then, why don’t you join the mailing list. Don’t worry, I only mail with the very best of things because email should be joyeous.
And if you’d like to make sure you *never* miss a blog post simply enter your email into the little ‘sign up to blog’ box (somewhere on this page) to get an update each time I publish something.
(Note: This is a different thing to the mailing list.)
(Second Note: I just checked and over 18’000 souls have signed up for the blog emails, which must mean that they are delicious.)
Lastly: thanks for reading this. I really did miss you. All the love.
It’s good to be back. x