“I’ve always been given to self-dramatization. I intend to live forever.” – Leonard Cohen
I learned Leonard had died on a Friday. I was sitting eating breakfast when my girlfriend came to the kitchen doorway. She asked if I knew. Knew what I said. She told me gently. I was grateful for that. I put my head in my hands, then I closed my eyes.
I spent that day in studio. In the evening I made a fire. We cued up a playlist of Leonard’s music and opened a bottle of wine. As we listened, I began to talk. I needed to explain why Leonard Cohen was so important to me; and as I talked, it dawned on me how much more there was to say.
I realized that: his words, his music, his writing, and his story were woven so deeply thru every stage of my life that there was not a single period in which the thread of his song was not evident.
Wine became whisky. I noticed there was an album I hadn’t heard called: ‘You Want It Darker’ so I cued it up. We both listened as Leonard sang openly, simply, and truthfully, of his coming passing.
‘I’m ready, my Lord’, he sang.
Something inside of me broke then, and I wept as deeply as I ever have; long and hard, from the bone.
She held me silently for the longest time, neither intruding on my grief, nor content to let me carry its full weight alone. This is a priceless thing I think: to know, for at least a small time, that we do not have to be by ourselves in the dark. I cried until there was nothing left; and when I had finished I was the clearer for it.
To me, Leonard Cohen was both: artistic paragon and fellow soldier. I harbor a love and affection for his work that is so great it overflows onto what I knew of the man himself.
Without planning to, or meaning to, the night became an impromptu wake. There was wine and whisky. There was grief, and there was longing. There were tears, there were tales, and the welcome solace of a lover’s arms.
I think he would have approved.
Thanks for reading this, I hope it finds you well. Big hug, – J
In other news…
I was in a strange mood yesterday and completely rewrote my ‘About‘ page. Let me know what you think.
I’m Working on some Cool New Stuff.
If you’d like an email when there is news or when I release something click the link below. I won’t email you for any other reason, or share your address with anyone else.