How To Make The Perfect Cup of Coffee

Once upon a time…

On a sunny Sunday morning I made a change to the way I make my morning coffee.  Which is not that interesting.  What is interesting is: when I took the first taste I almost dropped the mug because it was soooooo good.  It was the best cup of coffee I could remember tasting.  Ever.  Dark, sensuous, chocolatey, rich and clear, with zero bitterness and a highway maximum caffeine wattage.

It was perfect.

But…

Things are not SCIENCE unless they are repeatable.  So the next day I tried the same method and reaped just the same results; a smouldering whirlwind of orgasmically coffee-scented bliss.

When it worked for the third time I tweeted this:

…and promptly collapsed under the tsunami of messages saying: how? How? HOW?

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write about it but, if the end times are indeed upon us (which is pretty much the mood in the U.K. today) then at least we can go at them with the good java.

So, here’s how:

How to Make The Perfect Cup of Coffee…

When I was a young boy, on any given Thursday that I was absent from school I met my grandmother in town, mostly to hang out (my grandmother was cool).  Our agreed rendezvous point was a small section of wall on the edge of a tree- laden park next to a shop that roasted it’s own coffee.  I remember standing there, bright dawn sun warming on my face, no sound save that of the leaves whispering their silky undulating chorus, thinking that this smell, the smell of freshly roasting coffee carried to me like a gift on the low cool morning breeze, could be the greatest smell in all of the world.

It is years later now and I am a man grown but that smell still gets me just as much as I did on those halcyon days.  Over the years I have tried, tested, and experimented with different beans, methods, and gear with the enthusiasm, fervor, and zealotry of a junkie alchemist.  So it’s not that surprising that I’ve picked up at thing or two.  Which is all a very polite way of saying: brace yourself because the level of detail in this post may amaze (or terrify) you.

Ready?  Cool.

Ingredients:

This is kind of obvious.  Coffee and water, right?  Here are the coffee beans I currently use:Beans

Why beans and not just ground coffee?  We’ll get to that a little later on.  For now the important points are: these beans are single source (not mixed up), organic (so no weird chemicular aftertaste) and wet-processed (which, of all the ways of processing coffee is the one generally leading to the least contaminants).

(As a bonus they are also Fairtrade which, whatever your thoughts about it, is probably better than not Fairtrade.)

And for the sake of completeness here is a H2O molecule:IMG_6663

(Because: Science)

Method:

#1 – Filter The Water

There are a bunch of reasons to do this, the most commonsensical being: the vast majority of your brew is water; better water = better coffee.  Water quality can vary dramatically from region to region (I live in Edinburgh and the water is pretty good, but when I lived in London it was pretty dire) but whatever the condition of the initial sample filtering can only make it better.

I use this Brita Water filter and change the filter out whenever I remember to:IMG_6672

#2 – Hand Grind The Beans for Each Batch

This is by far the most important step for a veritable wealth of reasons, the most important being: coffee beans contain an array of very friable (meaning fragile) oils, many of which evaporate within about 20 minutes of the beans being ground (whether they are sealed in that time or not.)   You may or may not know that many of the cool as fuck health benefits and all good stuff you read about coffee comes from these oils.  And as well as the health benefits, a lot of the good taste is there too.

Why not use a mechanical grinder?  2 main reasons.  First, many mechanical grinders generate a lot of heat – something else that can destroy the good oils; second, a lot of commercial products smash the beans rather than grinding them resulting in a whole load of different size pieces, which will absolutely bang-fuck your brew (‘bang-fuck’ is the actual technical term so don’t blame the messenger).  Different sized pieces extract at different rates during the brewing process, some will under extract and some will over extract, which sounds technical but actually just means that you will end up with uneven, weak, shitty-bitter and generally piss poor coffee.

Hand-grinding takes longer but results in a measurably superior cup.

A ceramic burr grinder is best.  I use this Hario with a pretty fine grind setting:

Ta-daaaaa!
Ta-daaaaa!

#3 Load Up The Percolator and Go Go Go!

If you have completed steps 1 and 2 your coffee will already be leaps and bounds ahead of the pack whatever method you choose for brewing (of which there are myriad).  That said, method can still make a substantial difference.

IMG_6669Before ‘Eureka Sunday’ I was using a simple french press which had Become Destroyed (don’t ask.)  Not wanting to forsake my morning cup I pulled this percolator down from a shelf, dusted it off and fired it up.

While the hand-ground beans + filtered water were good in a french press, when combined with this drip-feed percolator they become sublime.  (Helpful hint: I put my mug upside down on top of the percolator while brewing which means the mug is toasty warm when I pour my first cup.)

A word about brands: I have tried a bunch of different percolators but have honestly found negligible differences between the super-cheap and the uber expensive.  I bought mine from Amazon for about 20 bucks a few years ago and it is as good or better as much more expensive versions.

A word about amounts:  I am aware that ultra purists weigh both their coffee and their water but 99% of people are not going to do that so, in this case I think a general rule of thumb is more useful.  The biggest mistake most people make when brewing coffee is using too little coffee, so use the maximum amount of both coffee and water that your maker allows (assuming percolator) and then scale the ratio down from there.  If you prefer a weaker brew the best way is to brew strong and then water down with hot water until you get to your preferred strength, this way you do not sacrifice taste.

(Side note:  My pot says it holds 10 cups but it’s actually more like two mugs.  If you can somehow get 10 cups of coffee out of a regular-sized pot you are obviously a terrorist.)

#4 Drink, Enjoy, Create, and Be Happy.

Really good coffee is, to my mind, one of the greatest and simplest pleasures in life.

Viva la Revolucion.

Final Note: Bear in mind you don’t have to do all the steps.  Even if you only change one of these things your coffee will be measurably better.  In the world of coffee as in life, even the smallest positive change is better than no change at all.


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40 Comments

  1. Well I never thought I could get so excited over a cup of coffee.
    Apart from a couple of weeks ago when my husband brought me a Cappuccino in Costa and they put a palm tree on it.
    Here’s what I think you should do.
    Open your own coffee shop. Call it
    Throth and then if we’re ever in Edinburgh we’d know where to go for the perfect cup of coffee.
    And also Granny would be extremely proud.
    Not sure about the Kiki thing though.

    Like

    1. Very true. I read yours – I often blend coconut oil into my coffee but have yet to try flakes. I will check this out.
      Thanks a lot for reading and taking the time to comment.
      PS – do you know that, phonetically at least, your name means ‘Crisis’ in Japanese?
      The reason it’s cool, is because the word in Japanese is made up of two characters: ‘danger’ and ‘opportunity’.
      Have a cool day,
      – J

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Have you tried cold pressed coffee? It’s pretty easy; you soak fine-ground coffee in a small amount of water in a glass jar for 24 hours. This gives you a syrupy coffee concentrate. I pour it over ice and add some water and (because I’m an addict) hazelnut creamer. It’s quite good: smooth and less acidic than hot coffee. *These directions are extremely un-science-y. Google has real instructions.

    Liked by 1 person

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