The Time of the Crush (or: Alchemy for Beginners…)

I am writing this at 06:34 in the morning.  I have just finished a recording session and am getting ready to do an edit.  This is, without a doubt, the craziest and most intense period of my life I have ever experienced…

I generally get up around 3 in the afternoon; then I meditate and get straight into studio work.  About 11 at night I grab a nap on the floor of the studio, bounce up, make coffee, meditate again and get into recording.  I’ll go until around 5 or 6 (whenever I start to hear the cars whispering past my window), then I’ll edit what I have recorded.  I usually hit the sack around 9-10 A.M.

The results have been really good.  I am not too sure about the health implications of doing this long term tho.  I think the first thing I may do when the record is released on the 31st is grab a nap. ;-)

But I am continually breaking new ground, simply because I have to.  This is the real worth of the process for me.  Over the last month, I have discovered new and better ways to do almost everything that I do with music.  It seems that, even if a problem looks insurmountable, if you are really locked in and committed to delivering something, a solution will inevitably present itself.  This knowledge alone is worth it’s weight in gold.  I am doing things now that I literally could not do 3 months ago, simply because they need to be done.

Everybody has their own way of dealing with stress or pressure, most have a variety. I think that, when faced with stress, humans naturally either want to repress it or escape in some fashion.  But the mystery third option is to use the energy to do things that you couldn’t normally do.

I have had a few ‘moments’ over the last few months.  I think that this is inevitable when you set yourself such a big goal.  But, invariably, whenever I feel the possibility of stress, it is because I am focusing on the end result rather than the process itself.  Even tho my body is ragged, the process remains a constant joy.  It is where I am able to find the most peace.  It is, in a very real sense, my sanctuary.

The pieces are settling into place.  The record is still evolving, but is also, definitely, solidifying.  Sometimes I hear little flashes and they blow me away; sometimes, I hear something that sounds truly like my own music.  Hearing these things is worth any lack of sleep, any crazy schedule, any hardship to me.  I would happily break my body over the alter of the record for this.  It is beyond price.

I wouldn’t trade it.  I don’t wish that it was already over.  It is a beautiful place to be.  I like the deadline.  I like knowing that time is finite.  I like the focus and the pressure.  If you said to me that I could have more time, I would say: ‘no thankyou’.

I am very happy in the crush.

[13 days until release] ;-)

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My name is James Radcliffe and I am a 100% audience supported independent artist.  If you like what I do (and can afford it) then please consider buying some of my music.  Each purchase really makes a big difference to me and 10% of every sale goes to a charity which: houses, feeds, clothes, and educates orphaned children in Nepal.

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