This week has been a good week.
After writing about the emotional train wreck that was last week (here), I was left wondering if this week was going to be any different.
After I published last week’s post, I definitely felt more than a little exposed. It was strange to be walking out in internet land naked and vulnerable. It was hard for me to check my emails and respond to the messages that started to come in.
But the post got the biggest response of any post so far. The feedback was all the way positive, and I received more correspondence about it than I have for anything else. The universal comment was: ‘Thankyou for writing about this, I feel that way too’.
I am grateful for this, in a way that I can’t fully describe; it is humbling; it opened me up. It reaffirmed my faith in true honesty. Thankyou.
This week has been better (or rather, less uncomfortable). I have felt more peaceful than I have in ages, and work is flowing easily.
I have been reviewing all the words I have written in the last year. I write constantly, so there are vast tracts of raw data. Considering the fact that I harbour an innate desire not to look back on stuff I’ve done, this process has been less painful than I thought it would be. I like some of the poems a lot. I may do something with them after the record comes out.
I have been starting to re-record some of the pieces, to experiment with different arrangements and methods. On Monday I recorded the base track for an older piece of mine called ‘The Ocean’, then, Tuesday morning I sat down with some coffee, meditated for an hour and recorded some vocal parts. After editing this down, I listened back.
It was the closest thing to the sound in my head, and my heart, that I have ever heard. It was an emotional moment. I sat in a little sliver of wonder. It made me think that I could maybe pull this whole thing off…
It was a good feeling…
There is 15 weeks and some change until my record drops into public awareness. I don’t know if this is a long time or not. I know it will be done, I am guessing it will be tight. No doubt I will be working on this up until the moment it comes out.
I have started to have ideas about the album after this one, and some other projects that I want to engage with and complete. This is a kind of active procrastination for me. I know that, in part, it is my mind resisting the work at hand, but it is also productive and fun. There are many ideas, many projects, and they are all exciting. Watch this space.
In a way the deadline exists solely as a way to keep me accountable. It has helped me regain a delicate kind of balance; tight-rope walking on a knife edge between too much time / not enough time. Without it, I would just flail joyfully.
I wish you well. In 15 weeks time we well dance around the bonfire together.
My name is James Radcliffe and I am a 100% audience supported independent artist. If you like what I do (and can afford it) then please consider buying some of my music. Each purchase really makes a big difference to me and 10% of every sale goes to a charity which: houses, feeds, clothes, and educates orphaned children in Nepal.
Also, every month I send out a newsletter packed with Interesting and Exclusive Things. If you sign up today you’ll also get 3 FREE tracks of my music as a welcome gift.
And lastly, if you’d like to find out what I’m up to on a more day-to-day basis then here is my brain on Twitter: