Time off, Many Wonderful Things, and Massive Wanton Destruction.

I finished the first phase of my record.  It has gone very well.

Then I took some time off.  This was good for a day or so, then quickly become boring.  So I tore down part of a wall and made a bed that floats in the air.

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I am not really a fan of time off, it feels like wasted life in a bad disguise to me.  So I stopped doing it, sat down and listened to all the things I had made.  Then I put them in a list.

List

There are many things, so it is a big list.

Then I made a little stream of some of them and played it to Jen, who sat up on the new floating bed (I know it doesn’t really float, but it sounds cool) like a benevolent Queen and called out: ‘That’s good…That’s good….I like that..’ and other encouraging, vaguely proclamatory things.

Then I had to make some decisions about what I was going to do next.

Weirdly, these are the points I find hardest.  The transitional points.  It is so much easier for me to do the work again and again each day, than it is to surface and make fully conscious decisions that have long term impact.  I’m not totally sure why this is.  I think it has something to do with fear, and the act of taking full responsibility.  But, I don’t mind hard, and I don’t mind fear, so make decisions I did.  Now I will commence exploration of the pieces I like most, which is a beautiful thing.

In other news, I have been physically training quite hard and have put on about a stone in muscle which I thought (with much proudness) was a good thing, until I lost balance doing a one-legged squat today and fell thru the wall.

(It’s a good job my D.I.Y. skills are still sharp from the bed-making.)

I wish you well.


My name is James Radcliffe and I am a 100% audience supported independent artist.  If you like what I do (and can afford it) then please consider buying some of my music.  Each purchase really makes a big difference to me and 10% of every sale goes to a charity which: houses, feeds, clothes, and educates orphaned children in Nepal.

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4 Comments

  1. I know what you mean about transitional, crossroads-feeling life moments. But here’s the deal: they’re ALL transitional, crossroads-type moments. Every single one. Even when you’re on a roll.

    Because focus is a moment to moment choice. It’s like a muscle that you must train just like a quadricep. And like a quadricep, it requires determination, effort, and the occasional crashing through walls.

    Ever notice how, when you’re on a seemingly random building project, certain parts of your mind relax and others freefall through loose ideas? Maybe that project wasn’t random at all. Maybe your intuitive self decided it was time to rest certain muscle groups in your mind and fire up some others, so it took the path of least resistance and sent you through some plaster and board so you’d put away the computer and go find the toolbox.

    Maybe the highest part of you is smarter than you thought.

    I topped out at 625 pounds on the sled in my weightlifting days. Speaking of random.

    Like

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